Washington, DC -- The Democratic National Committee (DNC) has a huge problem with their Outrage Engines - the machines that have been creating their power for 40+ years. The machines have been run non-stop without maintenance and now don't produce enough outrage to keep the party going.
The People's Cube sat down with Scott "Scotty" Dogg, the head of the DNC's Outrage Maintenance Team (OMT), to discuss the state of the machines that are so important to the far left.
TPC: Can you explain what an Outrage Engine is?
SD: They are basically power generators.
TPC: How do they work?
SD: You start with a tiny kernel of truth - it can be a really small shred of truth, it doesn't take much - and the machine uses that as fuel to produce raw outrage, which we pass through a second stage converter to generate power for the DNC.
TPC: How long has the DNC been using outrage for power?
SD: For a long time - the DNC has almost always been fueled by outrage. A steam-powered second stage was used when the party was first started after the Civil War. Unfortunately, that design produced a lot of harmful by-products, things like KKK and Jim Crow. The DNC was able to use these waste materials to generate additional power, but eventually new designs came out that didn't create such toxic byproducts. The new machinery works efficiently, and the only by-product is a benign, slightly putrid liquid called liberal tears.
TPC: The new design has no drawbacks?
SD: Well, there have been a few studies that show that prolonged exposure causes brain damage, but we've been assured by health experts like Dr. Fauci and Bill Nye that those studies are misinformation.
I should mention there is an alternate design used extensively in middle eastern and communist countries that doesn't require any truth at all, but they have some violently destructive failure modes. The US and most western countries have banned their use. The DNC have worked to change the laws (and public sentiment) to utilize them here, but no luck so far.
The only real problems we've noticed from our machines is from overuse. We've been running at full capacity non-stop for so long, everything is starting to break down.
TPC: The outrage machines have been breaking down?
SD: Yes - they were never intended to be run 24/7 for decades with no maintenance or down time. At this point the machines are mostly worn out - we're seeing breakdowns and significant losses in efficiency. We're needing more and more truth to generate the same amount of outrage. It used to take a little drop, now we need vast amounts. There is a major part in the machines call the propaganda coupler and those have been degraded significantly in the last two years, which also hurts efficiency. Honestly, the machines are generating very little power anymore.
I've recommended we shut them down for a couple years to retool and rebuild them, but I've been overruled by the higher ups. I was told to 'just keep generating as much outrage as you can for as long as you can.' I get the feeling the DNC doesn't know how to operate any other way.
The People's Cube sat down with Scott "Scotty" Dogg, the head of the DNC's Outrage Maintenance Team (OMT), to discuss the state of the machines that are so important to the far left.
TPC: Can you explain what an Outrage Engine is?
SD: They are basically power generators.
TPC: How do they work?
SD: You start with a tiny kernel of truth - it can be a really small shred of truth, it doesn't take much - and the machine uses that as fuel to produce raw outrage, which we pass through a second stage converter to generate power for the DNC.
TPC: How long has the DNC been using outrage for power?
SD: For a long time - the DNC has almost always been fueled by outrage. A steam-powered second stage was used when the party was first started after the Civil War. Unfortunately, that design produced a lot of harmful by-products, things like KKK and Jim Crow. The DNC was able to use these waste materials to generate additional power, but eventually new designs came out that didn't create such toxic byproducts. The new machinery works efficiently, and the only by-product is a benign, slightly putrid liquid called liberal tears.
TPC: The new design has no drawbacks?
SD: Well, there have been a few studies that show that prolonged exposure causes brain damage, but we've been assured by health experts like Dr. Fauci and Bill Nye that those studies are misinformation.
I should mention there is an alternate design used extensively in middle eastern and communist countries that doesn't require any truth at all, but they have some violently destructive failure modes. The US and most western countries have banned their use. The DNC have worked to change the laws (and public sentiment) to utilize them here, but no luck so far.
The only real problems we've noticed from our machines is from overuse. We've been running at full capacity non-stop for so long, everything is starting to break down.
TPC: The outrage machines have been breaking down?
SD: Yes - they were never intended to be run 24/7 for decades with no maintenance or down time. At this point the machines are mostly worn out - we're seeing breakdowns and significant losses in efficiency. We're needing more and more truth to generate the same amount of outrage. It used to take a little drop, now we need vast amounts. There is a major part in the machines call the propaganda coupler and those have been degraded significantly in the last two years, which also hurts efficiency. Honestly, the machines are generating very little power anymore.
I've recommended we shut them down for a couple years to retool and rebuild them, but I've been overruled by the higher ups. I was told to 'just keep generating as much outrage as you can for as long as you can.' I get the feeling the DNC doesn't know how to operate any other way.
Statistics: Posted by Panem Et Circenses — 1/23/2025, 11:37 am — Replies 6 — Views 1392